Sunday 19 July 2015 0 comments

T & M

There are a lot of reasons why someone would admire another person, It could be because of someone's humility, wealth, Charisma, Generosity, and so forth.
I generally admire people based on different qualities, But Temi and Michael are two people I admire based on their strength.
Not strength as in muscles power , but their strength to leave the past behind and carry on.
Temi, LOL, I love this chick, she is so tough, we are all born different, Some of us beautiful, some of us not beautiful, some of us fat and some of us thin , some of us short and some of us tall.
One of Temi's leg was longer than the other and It was obvious, I asked her how it happened, she said she didn't know that she was born normal, but when she started walking, her parents noticed she was limping. She grew up that way. I didn't like Temi at first, the babe was too harsh, I remember her slapping me once because I didn't answer her when she knock on the bathroom door where I was taking my bathe . Temi always wore a beret and a lot of people never got to see Temi's head. Temi and I became classmates in SS1, that wasn't right at all, Temi was supposed to be in SS3. When we just resumed, Temi was my seat mate, I remember she was crying, I didn't blame her if I were in her position, I would probably cry too. Well a teacher changed my seat and I sat behind Temi,she is one of the funniest girl I know, you can't beat Temi in a verbal fight, if you love your feelings don't annoy her, then If I do something to offend Temi, I would beg her oh, She is one chick you shouldn't have as an enemy,  I remember when She and Ogo quarrelled, I couldn't stop laughing, Ogo insulted Temi calling her crippled and pointing the fact she would spend eight years in secondary school, the funny thing is that the insults didn't get to Temi, she held her head high and by the time she was done with Ogo, the poor girl was in hot steaming tears,  that's amazed me. When I was in SS2 I sat opposite Temi on our our refectory table, she had a way of getting extra food for us and she loved fish so much, I think it's her itsekiri blood, she always got extra pieces of fish, Once she got forty pieces of fish .
And Temi can have gist, we used to called her Satellite, I was genuinely happy to have someone like her in my class, she was truthful, blunt (In a really painful way) , but she was a good person. My advice to anyone then in secondary school "Don't touch Temi's beret", I learnt that the hard way.
Well there are a lot of stories about Temi, but I remember her because she is strong, she is who she is, she doesn't need your opinion, she doesn't need you to make her feel good about herself, She is strong, independent and still a very beautiful and nice person and she taught me a lot, we don't talk much anymore though, we graduated and we went to different universities. But Temi would always be in my heart. TemTem if you are reading this, I love you Bae!!!!!!!.


Michael, LOL, He is one of the funniest guy I know, He is so playful, Sometimes when I imagine him as a child, I wonder how his parents coped with him,the guy is so energetic. Michael had to repeat a class, repeating a class is not the easiest thing to do, repeating a class could affect you emotionally, mentally and psychologically . When I came to class and I saw Michael there, I seriously thought he was lost, I asked what's up and He told me "Haba you swore for me that day in the game centre that I won't pass nah" I actually said that to him, I didn't mean it though.I am surprised at how he could still crack jokes and he told me that he had realised his mistakes and he was going to do something about it instead of crying about his predicament, He was so strong, always smiling and disturbing somebody as if nothing was wrong,well there is usually a silver lining in every dark cloud, If Michael didn't repeat probably we won't be as close as we are today. He may be playful, funny and look unserious , But Michael is one of the most mature guy I know, 80% of the time he goofs off, but 20% of the time you also get to see the mature, wise and thoughtful Michael.
He didn't let repeating a class weigh him down
, In fact he is more serious, he is frequent in class, practicals, discussions and He also encourages his friends to come to class, calling them and advising them to be more serious, you won't even know Michael is repeating our class, with the way he flows with everyone in class, you would just reason that he has been a member of our class the whole time, he is humble and free, there is never a dull moment with Micheal, In a lot of ways he inspires me and that's why I admire him. Mikey, If you are reading this, I love you Bae!!!!!

 
Do you admire anyone and You want to share please send your stories to Ifuekojemmy@yahoo.com or Ifueko143@live.com  
See you next post.
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Wednesday 8 July 2015 0 comments

Beauty and the programmer 3

Eddy regained his senses when the car horn blared a second time, the driver was really angry and he showed it, he spat at Eddy saying
" Idiot, upon all your goggles you no dey see, If you wan die go drink poison ewu"
Eddy wasn't one to insult back, he just said sorry and walked away. Usually he would have come with his car but sometimes he just liked to walk and listen to music on his earphone and think.
His mum was around and the jolly woman was on his neck, every time, Eddy when am I meeting my daughter, you know I never gave birth to a girl, so your wife will be my daughter, he had so far dodged the question but now he couldn't anymore, his mum pestered him daily, all his siblings were married except him, he would argue with his mum and say,
" But mummy, Ib, Chuka and Ibe have given you daughter nah "
" I know but, I want a daughter from you my son "
The woman may pester him, but she was a beautiful woman, and he loved her dearly. His father died when he was six years, apparently his father committed suicide and Eddy was the one that found the body, the sight of his father's body dangling from the ceiling haunted him and he never spoke of his Father to anyone.
His mother had been his father, mother, sister and friend. But now she was a tormentor, tormenting him to get married, introducing him to a ton of girls in church, weddings or any social gathering they happened to go together to, usually she always dragged him along.
After walking for an hour, Eddy stopped a taxi and went home.

A couple of weeks later, Ese  accompanied a friend to an IT centre, And there she bumped into Eddy, it as if he barely recognised her, the other guys in the IT centre were ogling over her, but Eddy was just focused on whatever he was doing, that fascinated her, it was rare to see a guy, who wasn't  moved by her beauty , she wanted to be his friend,she walked to his work area and said " Hi"
Eddy so engrossed in his work, barely heard her, she greeted again and he turned to look at her and with the look on his face it was clear that he recognised her
" Hi, I am Ese"
" Yea, I remember you, what brings you here? "
" I accompanied a friend ,"
She looked at what he was designing
" Cool did you designed this? "
" Yea , sure this is my thing "
" Wow, you are really good, No you are amazing , the hospital I work in needs a website badly , I will talk to the management about it, I would want you to design it "
 Eddy smiled and for the first time He looked at Ese, She was actually very pretty, But her make up, He didn't understand, It was too much, it looked like she was wearing a mask on her face .
" Are you serious, miss, I will be honoured to "
" Great, let me have your card so, I can reach you "
" Sure "
 And Eddy reached into his pocket and pulled out his card and handed it to her.
" Thank you "
" No,thank you miss "
" Just called me Ese "
" Okay Ese "
As she turned to leave, Eddy spoke
" Sorry, Ese, you are really beautiful "
She laughed in her head, Men are so gullible, she guessed he wanted to ask her out to lunch or dinner. But instead he said
" Don't be offended, I just say things  how they are, you are very beautiful, you don't need the make up, to me make up are used to cover flaws, I don't think you have any flaws to cover "
Ese was shocked, No man had ever spoken to her like that before , she turned and left angrily.

Immediately she left, Iro , Emma and some other guys working in the IT centre walked to Eddy like he had stolen something of theirs..
Emma was the first to speak
" Guy you will remain single for the rest of your life "
" Abi " shouted Collins a Web designer
" Guy you fuck up sha, how you go talk put for her make up" said Iro
" You guys should free me, I told her the truth, what does she need make up for "
" Shut up there you gay niggi " shouted Emma
Eddy was about to reply when the familiar car horn of their boss was heard and they all had to return to their work stations immediately.
Throughout that day Eddy was at war with himself, why did he say that to her, he would have at least waited till, they were properly acquainted or something. He made up his mind that he would find her and apologise.

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Wednesday 24 June 2015 0 comments

Primary 1

I remember my first year in Primary school vividly, the year 28th September 2000 , I had celebrated my birthday a few days ago, So I had a piece of cake, a fruit juice and some biscuits in my lunch box ( It was pink and green, with a water bottle to match) , My school bag containing a few notebooks was a Blue Jean bag with brown leather straps ( A gift from my godfather) .
I remember my Dad taking me to my class,Primary 1B and put my lunch box in the first seat on the third row.
I was so excited, Finally I have left Kindergarten, No more Yellow and Green uniform, In primary school our uniform was a blue check shirt with a navy blue Pinafore and after months of dreaming, I finally get to wear one.
My Dad left me and I went to the assembly ground, when assembly was over, I went to Primary One block and I couldn't remember my class anymore, I searched and searched but I just couldn't find it, I kept seeing faces and recognising no one, After searching for about thirty minutes, there was not a pupil on the corridor except me, confused still searching for my class , I went to my former class Kg 3B and I realised it wouldn't help so I went back to the primary school block and I sat by a class and started crying, A girl from Primary 2A came out and asked me what was wrong, I told her I misplaced my class and my Daddy will shout at me.
She asked me what class it was and I told her Primary 1B, She pointed it out and it was just right in front of me, I still wonder how I passed the class and didn't know it was mine.
The teacher wasn't furious with me for coming late thank God, the seat I initially reserved for myself wasn't available again, so I sat in another seat, when it was break time, I found my lunch box, ate and I went to play.
In primary one, I learnt so many things, One I remember vividly was learning how to pick Grasshoppers, My friends and I would go to a field close to our School hall and pick Grasshoppers all afternoon, breaking off their wings and putting them in containers. We called them "Bijot", We had police Bijots ( it was yellow and black) , Devil Bijot (green with red eyes), Razor ( green and it makes a really sharp noise when it flies), We barely caught razor, because It could cut our hands ( that's why we call it Razor) , Only really experienced kids caught Razor, I remember catching my first Razor, you would think I caught a lion.
I remember Gift stabbing Collins in the eye with her Pencil, thank God it injured only his eye lids, I remember the day our fine art Teacher Mrs Akpori died, I barely knew her but cried because everyone was crying, I remember the whole school dragging Godswill (The dude that knocked down my tooth) and one girl I think Labake was her name, Olo told me they were caught doing "sweetie" under the table during break ( LOL)
I vividly remember wearing the back of my uniform to school and when someone told me, I opened my Pinafore and took of my shirt to the shock of my classmates wore it back and sat down on my seat, I remember Ehi Odion laughing like I was doing a striptease.
I remember forgetting my lunch box at home and I slipped past school security and I started trekking back home to get it, thank God a teacher found me in time. I was brought back crying hard that I would be really hungry and I remember Eduana consoling me( LOL, I was such a baby)
Philip, Olo, Eric, Isabu, Osaretin, the Blessings, the Joys, Edeghogho, Oghosa, Ab, Ibhade, Ehi Odion, Peace, Eduana were the first friends I had in Primary One, with them Primary school was fun.
We are adults now but the memory lingers on
The times we spent picking Bijots, climbing the cashew tree beside our class, playing games and shaking our little botties to some songs we just learnt how to sing some how, When it was time to move to Primary 2, things changed slightly, picking Bijots became childish but that's another story , Can you remember your first year in Primary school, Do you have any beautiful story to share, Send your story to Ifuekojemmy@yahoo.com,
See you next post


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Tuesday 16 June 2015 0 comments

BEAUTY AND THE PROGRAMMER 2

Eddy after talking to Ese walked into an IT centre located in the shopping complex and the sound of laughter welcomed him, along with cries of he did it, he really did it. Eddy walks to a tall light skinned  guy and says,
" Oya Iro, I have done what you asked now give me my laptop"
Iro, a very naughty soul, looks at him and says
" yea, you talked to her, So what's her name, where does she work and did you get her number"
" Her name is Ese, the rest I dunno"
The other guys in the room burst out laughing and they started taunting Eddy saying stuffs like 'jew', 'nerd' and stuffs like that.
Iro smiled and said
"The deal was name, where she works and number "
" Guy stop this rubbish and give me my laptop, am almost done writing the codes for that Green's hospital website"
" Eddy at least tell me, you found the babe attractive "
" Iro She is okay"
The cries of Jesus, Hey, Choi, filled the room
" I don dey talk say this Eddy nah serious gay" said Emma the IT centre accountant
" Guy stop that rubbish talk am not gay"
" Only a Gay niggi will see that girl and say that she is okay" said Etim
"That girl is fucking hot" said Iro
" Then why didn't you guys talk to her, why make me go and talk to her "
" we thought it would be funny to watch you fumble over your words or pee your trousers as you talk to her " said Ben
" You guys are jobless, give me my laptop Iro "
" Abeg Iro give am oh, Before he uses his Kung fu skills on you " said Emma
Everyone laughed except Eddy, He was seriously tired of being the subject of the jokes in the IT centre, but he loved working here, He loved his boss and most of all he loved his Job, Yes he was Antisocial and He wasn't really interested in girls, But So what,he loved his life this way, He had a goal in life and that goal was that He wanted to be in The Programmers hall of fame( If there was something like that) A social life and a Girlfriend will only slow him down.
He thought Ese was beautiful but He felt she was just one of those " Fake Plastic Painted up Barbie doll" His dream girl was a girl that was into programming the way he was into it, So they can challenge each other and write codes together, He would only have a girlfriend If he found such a girl or If he ever finds such a girl.
He collected his laptop from Iro finally and settled down in his work area to finish with the Green's Hospital Website. He left work by 8 pm and made his way home, What a day he thought, He started thinking about tomorrow and how he would write the codes and design the next website He would work on tomorrow , He was so deep in thoughts he didn't hear the car horn.

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Sunday 14 June 2015 0 comments

Beauty and the Programmer

Saying Ese was beautiful is an understatement, Ese was Wow just wow, Almost everything about her was perfect, She was dark chocolate in complexion, white almond shaped eyes with long lashes, pearly white neatly arranged teeth covered with luscious lips, She was about 5 ft 6 inches tall, with a well sculpted body that fit anything she wore.
Ese wasn't just a head turner, she could break necks if possible. She was any man's dream, she was beautiful on the inside too, She was funny, easy going and respectful.
After her Nysc, She got a job as a Nurse in a private hospital. She was literally chased by men from different corners, rich men, handsome men but she refused to date anyone , she said she didn't want them because they felt their physique and money could buy her, she wanted more in a man.

One day, she went to a supermarket to buy a gift for her friend getting married, when she was leaving she heard a shaking voice begging her to wait, she turned to see a man walking towards her, When he came close to her, she assessed him from head to toe. He was roughly the same height with her or a bit shorter it was hard to tell because he was sloughing a bit, He wore a neat and well ironed short sleeve shirt on a pair of Jeans that looked a bit worn out but still wearable, on his feet were Allstar Canvas, He wore geek glasses and was visibly shaking.
" Hhhhiiiii, sorry Good morning, No its actually 1pm already so am am "
Ese was staring at him
" okay I meant Good Afternoon "
" Good afternoon can I help you ?" said Ese
" I just wanted to say Hi "
" Okay you have said it, Now I have to go "
" Hi, am Eddy, please can I know yours? "
" It's Ese "
" Okay, Nice to meet you Ese, I have to go now, you have a lovely name "
And he turned back and left, That was really odd, He didn't ask for her number or where she worked or anything, Just her name and he left, funny dude,

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Saturday 30 May 2015 0 comments

May 30th 2015

It's May 30th 2015, and Well its feels like Nigeria just took a time machine back to the hard times. I attend university of Benin, and sometimes even if there is no light, you are sure that the Generator will be on by 7pm till 2am and then from 5am-7am. But that has changed suddenly the light goes off and it stays that way until Bedc decides to supply us with light which could be in a few hours, days, even weeks . I went to Guaranty trust bank to charge my phone because the light when off by 8:10pm and the Generator wasn't on, I heard from someone that the technicians said there was no diesel for the generator. Going to GTB to charge my phone, I was shocked at the crowd, people were literally connecting extension to extension, plugs and chargers every where people plugging their lamps, phones laptops, tablets and power banks. It was like a market place
 In my hostel water barely flows, even if it flows it's for a few minutes and most of the time, you have to go down stairs, I am literally starting to have muscles from all the buckets I carry upstairs. The toilet is a bloody mess, because not everyone is disciplined enough to go all the way down stairs to fetch water to flush it after you have used it and the cleaner can't  clean it efficiently because there is no water and I can imagine how many trips the poor woman will have to makes to effectively clean the toilet.
We even have it good, one of my friend complained to me that he barely has water in his apartment, once he had to come to class without taking his bathe because there was no water.
I decided to go home and I couldn't  see any bus, good thing  I had a comrade bus card, entry into the bus wasn't funny, someone pushed me and I stepped on someone's shoe, one woman almost dropped her carton of fish on my head.
Buhari got sworn in yesterday, I hope things get better, because the way we are living right now is Archaic, there should be light, water and transportation, Well what I can say is Buhari has his work cut out for him, let's see if the CHANGE he promised will play out. I remember a friend of mine saying in his manifesto, We are Nigerians, we don't eat sweet words, We eat yam, rice, millet and garri. In other words we don't want promises, we need actions. 
Bye and see you next post.


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Saturday 23 May 2015 0 comments

TREASURE

It's 7:53 on a Saturday and it's raining cats and dogs. But this is a good time to share a story.

Kate and Chidi had been dating for over a year, and for that year, Kate had been struggling with Chidi.He wasn't really attentive to her, he barely let her speak her mind, always shut her up and when he starts to raise his voice, Kate will be silent because she is scared Chidi will hit her. He was quick to insult her over her mistakes and too often she would lock herself in the toilet and cry.
She did everything to please him, She would cook for him but he won't eat, She never argued with him when he spoke so he won't raise his voice, but it made no difference. What does he want, She couldn't make him happy, she didn't feel appreciated , She wasn't happy, She loved Him, but their love was so dry and stale, there was no spark. They barely did stuff together, they hardly went out, they couldn't have a discussion without it leading to a quarrel. She read blogs, books and asked her friends and family advice on her relationship but all the information she got from the books or her Friends didn't help her situation, the relationship was just cumbersome.

Kate was getting fed up, She wanted to end it but she couldn't imagine a life with Chidi, He may be a pain but she knew he loved her and she loved him too, But still she couldn't imagine marrying him and spending her life with him with his attitude .

One day, She goes to a supermarket to buy some cosmetics and She bumps into Tobe, her long time best friend from secondary school, Tobe a free spirited and playful guy hugged Kate and was genuinely happy to see her again , they exchanged numbers and parted ways.
That night Tobe called her and they talked into the night, talking about Secondary school, University and almost everything they had missed from each other's life .
He wanted to see her again and he invited her for a movie, and she agreed.
Chidi started to notice his girlfriend was no longer chasing him, In fact she hardly called again, She was always smiling at her phone and When they were together, She barely gave him any attention. Chidi started to get worried, He started chasing Kate, but She just treated him how he used to treat her and he started to feel how she felt. The roles were reversed and Chidi knew how Kate always felt.
She didn't do it intentionally, She was just having so much fun with Tobe, He was so fun to be with, they did a lot of things together,they had a lot of things to talk about,  they went to the movies, went dancing, He cooked with her and he was always there, unlike Chidi, Tobe was dependable, He was always there for her.
The gap between Chidi and Kate lengthened, and the gap between Tobe and Kate shortened.


Chidi couldn't contain it anymore, He accused Kate of cheating on him with Tobe, Kate was horrified, She tried to talk to Chidi but as usual Chidi wasn't one to listen, He broke up with Kate and took off.

Two years later, Chidi met a friend at a bar, Oma, Oma told him Kate was getting married the next Saturday, Chidi wondered to whom, Maybe it was to that Tobe, he thought, He decided to go for the wedding anyway to see who his ex had ended up with.
That Saturday, He drove to the Catholic Church in which Kate was to be married took a seat in the middle aisle and watched the ceremony. The man Kate was getting married to wasn't Tobe, No it was definitely not Tobe. Tobe was the Priest officiating the wedding, his eyes were shinning as he joined Kate and her Husband.
Chidi was shocked, He had no idea Tobe was a Reverend Father, maybe this was what Kate was trying to tell him, She wasn't dating Tobe at all, they were just hanging out and He broke up with the best thing that had ever happened to his life.
Chidi left the marriage ceremony with a heavy weight on his chest . Truth be told all the relationships he had been in Since he broke up with Kate had been a wreck, He was forty and was still a Bachelor, He entered his car and zoomed off.

Always treasure what you have you would never know when you would lose it.

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MENTAL WARD

On this fateful day, Wisdom, Jennifer and I armed with their bibles and courage, we went to the mental ward for our Legionary work. I wasn't a legionary but I loved to visit the sick,I  didn't know Wisdom or Jennifer, in fact three us were strangers to each other.
I had gone to the mental ward before, so I knew the drill, I told Wisdom and Jennifer, how to talk to the people there, I warned them not to treat them like they were mad and I told them not to argue with them, and anything they said, you just smile and nod.
I remembered the last time I was there, I was with my bestie and a Eucharistic Minister, a lady there kept talking anyhow, saying Catholics are devils and they pretend to do good. The Eucharistic Minster told us to ignore her.
When Wisdom, Jennifer and I got to the ward, we were jittery, But I hide my jitters, but Wisdom and Jennifer showed theirs, in fact Wisdom said he was getting ready to dodge a punch. When we got to the front pouch of the ward a security man said be careful their are mad people here, that scared us but It was for God so we prayed and we knocked on the gate , a man with fully relaxed hair came to open the gate, he looked mad, can't blame him, you tend to pick some characters from where you always are. The guard by the door asked us what we wanted and we told them we came to see the sick, they told us to be careful,  we told we would and walked it. We decided to go to the women's ward first, we felt they would be more gentle and calm.
The first bed we went to immediately we mentioned we were catholics, she told us to get away from her sight, that she doesn't listen to us, that she goes to a believers church, initially Wisdom and Jennifer tried to tell the woman that we are Christians and we just wanted to visit her, but she still drove us away. We went to another bed, the woman there was calm and quiet, I suspected she suffers from Depression, and we talked to her briefly because she gave us hints that she didn't want any company.
We went from bed to bed and there was this young girl we saw, I can't remember her name, She told us she was from Gwoza and she was fourteen years old, I am not really the kind off person that watches the news or read Newspapers, so I kept asking her where is Gwoza, she just looked at me and said Gwoza. Later I saw Gwoza on the news and the town was on fire , I wished I would have been able to hear her story, but a lady started to shout at us to leave the ward, her voice was so brutal, we were scared she would go ballistic on us, so we left and went to the male side.

Funny enough the male side was way better than the female's side, we talked to everyone, the person that caught my attention was Abduli, when we came to his bed, he welcomed us and started to talk. Abduli is crazy smart, He would make a fantastic lawyer, He is well read and informed, he kept giving us Bible verses and telling us things we have never heard before.
This is his story.

He told us that the reason why he was here was because of drug abuse, he said not hard drugs as in cocaine, he meant weed I.e Igbo, wewe, cannabis. He said it affected him badly, he started to lose his memory, he became violent and he spent money endlessly on weed, he told us, this was his sixth time here, he talked for a long time, my feet started to hurt but I didn't care, I was captured by Abduli's intelligence, he told us, he wanted to finish the bible before he left the ward and we encouraged him.
He told us he was getting better and he would quit smoking and I was praying in my heart that he would stop smoking.
Then he told us his need small money for us, that he was hungry and had no food ,In that request I saw the junky in him, We told him we didn't have any money on us, that when we go on missions we don't carry money, I suggested that I would go outside and buy him something, but he said no that it would take too long and he wanted the money now. He switched from an eloquent orator to a desperate beggar, I looked at him and I wasn't happy, I see some friends of mine smoking weed saying it Medicinal and does no harm blah blah, different rubbish statement,
Don't be deceived, there are a lot of young people in the mental ward and weed brought them there. Madness cannot be cure it can only be managed.

See you next post guys and If you want to share your stories  , send them to Ifuekojemmy@yahoo.com

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EMBARRASSING MOMENTS

Embarrassing Moments
Almost 90% of the human race have experienced at least one very embarrassing moment, including me the writer, I have been embarrassed so many times, but it's no biggie, People may laugh or look at you in a weird way but they would get tired of laughing and life goes on.
Well these are some real life embarrassing stories, Enjoy them
STORY 1
It was graduation day in a prestigious all girls boarding school and the graduates were already in the chapel for the opening ceremony and when that ended, the graduates started to file out of the chapel, most of them were dressed glamorously , some manageable . The issue was that a lot of them wore shoes too high, In fact  some of the graduates could barely walk.
A girl called Mercy despite the fact she couldn't walk with heels kept laughing at her fellow classmates struggling with their shoes, She told them to watch her move with her heels, they actually stopped to look, Mercy started to walk like a model on the runway and then, she fell, she fell so hard her shoes went off her feet, When she stood up she was bare-footed, with her red stilettos in disarray,she turned round searching for who to blame, instead she saw a lot of strange faces pointing and laughing at her , including her classmates, they kept mimicking her saying " Watch me move with this heels"....

STORY 2
Ella went to the market on a cloudy Saturday, she wanted to buy food stuff for the house. In the market there was a madman, who always sat in the entrance of the market and was sometimes seen walking round naked. When Ella got to the market the mad man saw her and started to move quickly towards her saying, " My Wife, My Wife " She immediately took to her heels, with the naked mad man in hot pursuit , She ran into a nearby church and hid under the pews for a very long time, when she came out the mad man wasn't in sight.She quickly did a little shopping because she was badly shaking and a lot of people were pointing and laughing at her, she just wanted to get home, when she got to the park, she decided to get on a bike, because she would get home faster with a bike, As she got the the bike park, the mad man came out of nowhere and started running after her again, she ran to the nearest bike, hopped on and told the bikeman to drive off quickly, the man obliged and started driving off, the mad man ran after the bike and with all his strength spat at Ella, she was wearing a tank top and the spit landed right on her bare skin.
When Ella got home, she spent nearly two hours washing herself, in fact she felt like ripping off her skin, she had never been to embarrassed in her life.
STORY 3
Chioma had always had a thing for cute, handsome, tall or Macho guys, as long as you have one or more of the above qualities, Chioma would stare and day dream about the guy.
One day in church, While the offering was going on, Chioma's caught a glance of a drop dead gorgeous guy, she couldn't stop staring, she kept walking and staring, The sound of the offering bowl falling and her falling on top of it brought her to her sense, she had to pretend she was actually fainting to cover up ( LOL). Everyone in church including the cute guy she was staring at were looking at her, Chioma wished the ground would just open up and swallow her.

STORY 4
Mr Kola was a Literature teacher and He taught at an all girls boarding school and he was very good, in fact his students made good grades. But the thing about Mr Kola was that he usually gets lost staring at his students bosom, for some reason he just stared at his student's chest instead of their faces.
One day, a girl called Bami came to him and with about three of her classmates, they wanted him to explain something in their notes, Mr Kola started well, but kept staring at Bami's bust and Bami is a busty girl.
Bami was a nonsense person, when Mr Kola wouldn't stop staring, she held his head and turned it back to the book. Her three friends burst into laughter, Mr Kola couldn't say a word, even his follow Co-workers who noticed his staring laughed at him and said it served him right, Mr Bami had never been so embarrassed in his life.

STORY 5
Mr Osi always claimed he was a tough man and no one could dare him. In the face-me-I-face-you building were he lived, he was fond of threatening his co-occupants and beating up their children,
Mr Osi was married with two children and to a nice woman, who always had to apologise on behalf of her husband to the neighbours.
One day, armed robbers came to the house ordered everyone to the passage and told them to lie down, Mr Osi was ushered out too, A gun was pointed to him and Mr Osi wet himself, the armed Robbers watched in shock as a full grown man wet himself, the gun wasn't even real, they took their loot and left.
Mr Osi couldn't  show his face to his neighbours again, they kept making pee noises when he passed.

STORY 6
Labake was going home from school and at the last bus stop, as she struggled to come down, the seat caught her Jeggings trouser and as she struggled with the iron seat to free her Jeggings, she heard a rip and a loud laugh from someone in the back seat, She came down from the bus and assessed the damage, It was really bad, the iron seat ripped a long zigzag hole in her Jeggings and Labake notorious for not wearing underwear had the whole bus see her butt.

Have you had a funny/embarassing moment and you want to share it on I TELL STORIES, please send your stories to Ifuekojemmy@yahoo.com.
See you next post.
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Thursday 7 May 2015 0 comments

BUFFON

I remember when I was little, sometimes when we were watching television after school, maybe enjoying Rugrats or Tweenies on K-time, the light would just suddenly go off not because there is power failure or something but because the staffs of PHCN have entered into our house unannounced and tampered with the fuse box claiming we haven't paid our bills again,  We weren't poor or rich, but we were okay, we were well cared for and My Dad always paid his bills, he is not one to owe anyone. The funny thing is when you check how much is owed it's like 100 naira or 150 naira, as in like seriously, you tampered with someone's fuse box because he haven't paid 100 naira, it was embarrassing and just annoying.
I grew up hating the staffs of PHCN, the worse experience I had with them was when one of them insulted my mum, I was in primary school then.
PHCN staff don't know what they call them , but I remember this idiot well, He was very tall, dark and balding. He wore a black shirt and black jeans, with black shades, He looked like an undertaker to me. We had already paid our bills, but the PHCN staff claimed they were here to cut the wire supplying the entire area, due to some reasons blah blah blah,
My mum tried to talk to the man, but the arrogant, pompous, sad excuse for a thug, opened that filthy, smelling pothole he called a mouth to say
" Woman, don't talk to me, I have two wives and the second one is older than you " The people around laughed instead of telling him what he said was wrong. My mum walked away, She went to the backyard and started washing clothes, I tried to talk to her but she told me to leave her alone, I was really hurt, I wished I could break the buffon's head, I went to the front of the house, where the overgrown buffon was busy cutting the light , I hurled insults at him and it wasn't as painful as I wanted it to be. I hurled more and he threatened to come down from the pole and beat me up and I ran into the house.
That night, me and my siblings planned what we would do to the buffon If he entered our house again to cut the light, We planned we would dress up like masquerades call ourselves " Awilo sharp sharp ", we planned we would pour hot water on them and run away, We made a lot of plans and even more plans. Today, I laugh at those plans, plans we would never have carried out because, first of all we were little kids, I was Nine, my Sister was seven and my Brother was five, We were allowed to dream.
We never saw the buffon again, Now, I hope where ever he is, he is getting whatever he deserves.

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DAYO AND SIMI part 3

When Dayo and Simi met again, they were in his house. They were just talking, laughing and enjoying each others company, then Simi asked Dayo,
" Why weren't you excited when I told you I would be your girlfriend, do you have another girlfriend now?, Don't you want me anymore? "
" Simi of course, I want you to be my girlfriend, I love you, But do you love me too or you are just dating me because I asked you? "
Simi kept quiet, She liked Dayo, she didn't know If she loved him, he was nice and all but, did she really know what it felt like to love someone? Love was such a strong word
" I don't know, I really like you, I have never been in love, I don't know the feeling "
" It's owk love, I appreciate your honesty , don't force it Simi, let it come naturally, just know I love you"
He playfully touched her jaw and they continued talking.
Months passed and Dayo got more withdrawn and he was occasionally moody, It felt like he didn't enjoy her company anymore, he always looked worried, On the other hand,  Simi got more attached to him, It just wasn't fair at all,She tried to tell him how she felt but he waved it aside. In fact one day out of the blue he told her
" Don't get too attached to me "
" Why would you say that, am already attached to you "
"Try to detach yourself, It would be better , Don't want you to get hurt"
" What's wrong with you " Simi cried out " You begged me to give you a chance, I did and now am in love with you, you want me to just pretend I don't "
Very shocked Dayo looked at Simi and said
" You love me, since when "
" I dunno it just came and I started feeling it "
Dayo looked away and just stared at the wall for a few seconds, then he held his face, Simi realised he was crying,
" What's wrong why are you crying "
" Simi am going away, I am not here to stay"
Simi was shocked, she couldn't imagine not seeing Dayo again,
"Its alright, we have phones and the Internet, we will keep in touch, please stop crying, You would make me cry too" She started to sob too and Dayo took her in his arm and just held her patting her head and soothing her.
When they had calmed down, Dayo held Simi's face looked into her eyes, leaned in and kiss her.
The kiss awoke sensations Simi never knew existed and She kissed him back, there was this feeling in the kiss, It felt like she was floating, her heart was beating so fast, his heart was beating fast too.
They kissed for about a minute and stopped . She went home twenty minutes later reminiscing , that was her first kiss and it was amazing, she wanted to do it again, she couldn't wait to do it again.
That night Dayo called her, they talked about the kiss for almost an hour before they decided to change the subject.
" what's your favourite sport " Asked Simi
" Football, I want to die playing soccer"
Simi laughed, she imagined an eighty something year old Dayo playing soccer having a heart attack and dying with a smile on his face.
" I am a proud "gunners" fan, as in Arsenal or no other, if I ever have a twin I bet he would be a gunners fan too, that club is so cool"
" Why do you love football so much, it's boring to me , plus Chelsea wins more matches than Arsenal "
" I love it so much because it is the only thing am good at , am not really smart or talented, but when I play football, I feel smart and talented, I would love to be a footballer if it were possible"
"Dayo don't talk like that, you are smart and of course, You are tall, good looking and you have a beautiful smile, it's possible for you to be a footballer,You can play football nah "
Dayo laughed " It's not possible, will you come and watch me play tomorrow , the match is by 4pm at that football field we pass when we stroll, I want you to be there"
" Sure, I want to see if you really have those skills you are claiming, Let's see if you are really a footballer"
" I am so happy you will be there, I will play wella when you are around  Simi I want you to place this in your heart "
" Place what in my heart? "
" I love you Simi, place it in your heart never forget "
" Okay, no problem, You said you were leaving when are you going again"
Dayo became quiet
"Sooner than you think Simi"
"What? "
" Talk to you later, My mum wants to talk to me , bye Love you "
" I love you too"
The next day, Dayo and Simi were at the field holding hands, the match was about to start
" Simi, pray I do well this may be my last match"
" Dayo stop this nonsense talk, Just go there and have fun "
" I love you Simi, never forget that"
Then the whistle went off and Dayo ran into the field .To Simi's surprise Dayo was really good,NO, Dayo was amazing he moved fast and easily like he was walking on thin air, twenty minutes into the match and he scored a goal, Simi was so proud of him , the match continued and Dayo scored two more goals. As time went by  Simi observed that something was wrong with Dayo , He got slower and slower and he looked like he was about to faint forty minutes into the match the coach wanted to substitute him but he refused claiming he was just dehydrated, He was given some water and glucose and he announced he was fine. Simi was worried but Dayo's smiling face across the field reassured her He was okay.
Eighty minutes into the match, Dayo was sent to the bench, he wasn't looking alright at all,Instead of going to bench he went to sit with Simi, He looked drained and he was breathing fast, Simi made him sit and got him water and more glucose.
All of a sudden Dayo started wheezing and he fell to the ground, immediately Simi ran to his side, Dayo reached out for her and she held him, she kept asking him where his inhaler was and she tried to search for it, but he just held her tight, He was crying, he told her not to leave, His team mates carried him into a car rushing him to the hospital, He kept telling Simi to hold him, He was struggling to breathe, she held him and told him to calm down that he would be fine,He never made it to the hospital, Dayo died in Simi's arms . She never knew Dayo was asthmatic, He never told her, he was always healthy to her and always full of energy, When they got to the hospital , It was confirmed him dead, she couldn't  cry, it felt like a hammer slammed her chest, It was like part of her died too.
Usually her mum would have killed her for having a boyfriend at eighteen, but the pain her mum saw in her eyes shocked her, for days Simi locked herself in her room playing all Dayo's favourite songs over and over again, sometimes she would cry loudly and break and throw things around other times she would just cry softly and call Dayo's name, she refused to eat or drink anything,her family had to break down the door to her room and monitor her, they didn't want her to kill herself  they just watched her lie on the floor by her bed holding the shirt Dayo died in,crying until she had cried herself to sleep.
Dayo was buried a week later, Her parents refused to let her go initially, but she threatened to slash her wrist if they didn't let her go.
 She stood by the grave, silent while they buried Dayo, she didn't say a word, she just stood there holding his shirt, when the coffin was covered she sat by the grave and she cried, she cried her life out, her family had to drag her home.
Simi suffered depression for months, She wouldn't  speak to anyone, she would just hold his shirt and stare at the wall, She stopped crying but still spoke to noone, She was admitted into a mental ward, she only screamed when they tried to remove Dayo's shirt from her hand.
Seven Months passed and she finally started to talk and by the next year, she had regained herself fully.

She decided to go back to school, she took JAMB and PUTME, she applied for Physiotherapy and got admitted.

Years later, Simi already a graduate and working in an orthopaedic hospital , she was doing good but hadn't even dated anyone, AS IN NOONE.
Her friends and family tried to hook her up, but it was all futile, she refused every guy interested in her.
Her friends persuaded her to go shopping with them, she reluctantly agreed.
In the shopping mall , not looking where she was going she hit a mannequin and actually knocked it down, trying to place it back, a guy came to help her, she turned to thank him and stopped dead, just staring at him, the guy noticed the stare and wanting to break the awkward moment stretched his hand and said
" Hi my name is Deji"
Simi shook his hand and said
" Sorry for staring, you just look a lot like someone, I know, same height, body size and smile "
"Hmmm your friend better like football and Be a gunners fan, If not he isn't my twin"
 " He told me the same thing too " said Simi smiling

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 0 comments

TWICE THE HORROR

Very tired and fatigued from work, Obika made his way home, he drove slowly, dreaming of his bed and food.
It was 10 pm on a Thursday night, usually he never leaves late, but today, He was punished by his boss for slapping a female colleague.
Obika had a foul temper and was always quick to physical assault, the colleague he slapped had just challenged him for being bossy and mean to everyone and Obika slapped her saying her place was in the Kitchen and she had no right to work in the company, the Boss, an old Motherly woman punished him to do a mountain of paperwork or apologise, Obika preferred the paperwork.
Obika finally got home,there was no light and Obika too exhausted to eat, made his way into his room, took a quick shower and climbed his bed.
Suddenly, Obika realised things were not right, Sergeant, His Rottweiler didn't make a sound when he came in, Normally sergeant always barked when anyone entered the compound.
Obika felt uneasy, but decided he would check on the dog tomorrow.

Then Obika started to hear scratching noises, irritated he woke up and searched blindly for his torch, then his hand met fur and blood, Obika jumped from his bed and locating his phone and using it as a source of light, he looked at what he just touched, it was his dog, The poor animal had been mutilated badly, the head split into two, the stomach of the dog split and the internal organs pouring out, a big wave of nausea hit Obika without warning, who would do such a thing to his Dog.
The light on his phone started to flicker and finally the whole phone went black, Obika started to get scared.
A bloody hand started to come in through the window, Obika bolted and left the room, shaking like a banana leaf, he ran into the living room and there were bloody hands every where, coming out of the walls, the television, ground, they held Obika and started to pull him to the ground.
He tried to break free but more hands held him down,
Then the female colleague(Her name was Esizaze)He slapped walked in wearing a long black dress, outline with red, her lips where painted black, her nails where black and her pupils where in slits like that of a viper, two ghoul looking things where behind her carrying clay pots.
" You can slap someone abi, your hand itches you to slap ehn? "
Obika tried to talk but a bloody hand entered his mouth , the bloody hand held his tongue tight and pulled forcefully when he tried to talk.
In a split second the hand he used in slapping Esizaze started swelling, the hand became quadrupled the normal size.
Esizaze  spoke again
" You think you can go about slapping women or talking anyhow because you are the President of the company's son? "
" I will teach you a lesson you would never forget "
Immediately the hand in his mouth went out and instead another hand holding his dog remains forced his Dog's intestines into his mouth, Obika cried and begged but Esizaze heard nothing, the hands continued to force the intestines in until, Obika swallowed it all, including the rectum of the dog.
His hand that was now quadrupled the size hurt like it was on fire, like it was being chopped into pieces and as if acid was poured on it, Obika had never known such pain in his life.
One of the ghoul went and poured the content of the first clay pot on him and Obika let out a whelp, his skin started to peel painfully, Obika could literally feel his skin falling off his muscles.
Esizaze then said
" This is just the beginning, the second clay pot will do you worse "
The second ghoul started to approach Obika with the second pot and Obika let out an ear piercing scream.
And he woke up in the office, he checked his skin, hand and mouth everything was normal, he checked his time it was 10 pm, It was just a bad dream, he thought, he was covered in sweat and his neck hurt from the position he laid in while sleeping.
I must have fallen asleep due to exhaustion he thought, packing up his thing ,He decided to go home and forget the horrific dream.

When he got home his dog was barking,And there was light, he was extremely relieved, he entered his house, took a shower and climbed his bed. Immediately the light went off, fumbling for his torch, his hand met fur and blood again, he jumped out of the bed, Esizaze walked in through the door saying
" Oh you thought it was a dream, No sweetie, I wanted you to experience the same horror twice "
THE END...........

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Tuesday 28 April 2015 2 comments

DAYO AND SIMI : PART 2

Dayo and Simi started to talk every day and they got really close. He was so nice and friendly, she wasn't really used to having male friends, in fact, she felt like she didn't fit in anywhere.
But with Dayo things were perfect he was super charming, funny and a great companion. They would meet and take walks in their area and just talk. They would walk until their feet hurt and would then bade each other goodbye till they see again.
At night Simi would hide in the toilet and talk to Dayo till its almost morning. Usually she had low self-esteem about herself but, Dayo made her feel important, Dayo made her see the greatness in herself.
Dayo begged Simi to visit him, but she refused, He kept asking until she agreed.
Simi went to visit Dayo on a hot Saturday and she was welcomed by Dayo's siblings, they were the nicest people she had met, Tolu, Dayo's elder brother was an accountant and Lola , Dayo's elder sister was a Nurse.
Dayo's siblings were going somewhere, so they left them alone in the house, Simi conscious of the fact she was alone with Dayo , she started to perspire and her heart was pounding against her chest.
Dayo looked at her and said
" Calm down, Simi "
" Am very calm " said Simi in a very shaky voice
Dayo smiled a goofy smile and just stared at Simi, She was visibly scared to be alone with, But to him she still looked cute to him, Wanting to calm her down, he said
" Owk, will you like to watch TV? "
" No, I want to go home now "
" Simi, calm down, I won't eat you "
" I didn't say you would eat me, my mum says I should be home on time "
" Alright, Let me see you off "
" Okay "
" Can I get a hug "
Simi threw Dayo a look, But thought about it and gave Dayo a hug, the minute their bodies touched, Simi felt like a different person , It felt electric, they just held each for a minute, before they parted. There was this awkward silence, Then Dayo spoke.
" You better start going, you would be late "
" Okay, Bye Dayo "
Simi left Dayo's house, her heart was pounding, it was the first time, she had hugged a guy other than her Uncles.
Immediately she got home, Dayo called laughing at her, saying her heart was beating so fast, he thought she would have a heart attack. They laughed about it and then Dayo said,
"Simi, I like you and I want you to be my girlfriend "
Simi was speechless, She liked Dayo too, She had never been in a relationship.
" Dayo, I have never had a boyfriend "
" I won't hurt you Simi, I love you "
I love you, that phrase echoed in Simi's head. But she won't let that sway her.
" Dayo, I can't right now, please wait a little longer "
" Okay Simi, If that's what you want it's no problem, Just know I love you "
The call ended and Simi was confused. She was just 17, and Dayo was the same age but a few months older, she didn't want to date any guy till she was at least 21.

Days, weeks, Months passed and Dayo continued to profess his love, while Simi still refused to date him, but they were still very close.
Simi later learnt that some girls in the area liked Dayo and they started to flirt with him, Jealousy flooded Simi's head, Dayo was hers, getting scared she would lose him, She called him saying
" Dayo do you love me "
" Simi, of course I love you "
" Do you still want me to be your girlfriend "
" Of course yes "
" Then am your girlfriend "
Simi expect Dayo to scream, but he just said
" Okay Simi, talk to you later "
That pissed Simi off , He wasn't even excited.....
To be continued.........

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Sunday 26 April 2015 0 comments

BEING NATURAL

Going natural, What does it really mean?
Is it about joining the bandwagon of ladies cutting their relaxed hair to grow healthier natural hair ?
Or
Is it what's in vogue and it looks attractive ?
Or
Is it that You realised that relaxing your hair, bleaching your skin is selfhate and you have decided to love yourself the way you are i.e Appreciate your God given beauty?
Or
You have suddenly realised you are African and Africans have afros and dark skin, and relaxing your hair is a slave mentality and you want to stop it ?
But seriously what's your reason for going natural.
Initially I went natural because, I saw other naturalistas with long hair, beautiful twist out, afros and what not.
I was obsessed with the natural hair of ladies I saw online, in my mind my hair would grow that way.
I bigchopped and then it became clearer when the relaxed ends where off, it was no longer about, long healthy hair, it was about God.
God made my ass black and my hair kinky, He makes no mistakes, so why am I trying to correct myself ?
Most pictures of natural hair online to me are just fake, like seriously, your ass is darker than mine and you are sporting 2c curls and you would see some ladies chanting "hair crush, I wish my hair was like that "
Going natural should be about appreciating yourself the way you are, not dying your hair purple, blonde, red, green or blue.My dear that's not natural it's not your real hair colour, You went natural, so stop being fake.
You are natural, no biggie be natural, don't act it.
And to permies out there, It's your choice to relax your hair, but remember God makes no mistakes, he gave you an Afro for a reason, I am natural not because of Hair crush, length checks, Natural hair meet ups, natural hair products or Whatever. I am natural because I was born this way, God made me this way and I would never change it.

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Wednesday 8 April 2015 0 comments

THE GIRL I CALL MY FRIEND

I remember vividly my years in secondary school, In my mind, I reasoned it would be better than my  years in primary school. My latter years in secondary were better, unlike my first year when I felt so alone and frustrated, second year I wasn't really alone, I met Diane, we became friends when she fell into a gutter and I carried her to the sick bay, she was so light (LOL), We were friends till the end and I have never loved (PLATONIC) a girl the way I loved her, She was a true friend, she was really bright, in fact one of the brightest girl I knew.
She won a national spelling bee, met Bruce Murray and The former President Goodluck Jonathan, and I was so happy for her, I was proud to say that she was my friend.
With her I didn't feel alone, with her I felt perfect. Please I am not a Lesbian oh, This is strictly platonic.
Diane wasn't very tall, but she had long legs, she was chocolate coloured and she wore glasses. Diane wasn't good in sports, But she was a brainaic, she could read her books front to back at least two times.
She used to say to me " Pray for me, You know your prayers always works for me " It was the sweetest thing I had ever heard.
Diane would come to my bed at night and we would gist into the midnight, sometimes she would sleep off on my bed and sometimes she would go to hers.
She was a good listener, I talk a lot I know and Diane listened.
I remember one time, when someone was laughing at my body and she stood up for me, I was so happy, when I felt bad about myself she was there to support me.
When I was diagnosed of bronchial asthma, she was there to help me, and she came to visit me, during my long stays in the sick bay, when I was down and depressed, she would cheer me up.
Then I used to feel bad that I didn't have many friends or that a lot of people didn't like me, I wasn't popular, I couldn't dance, my singing was just mediocre, on my birthday I get like seven cards, while some girls in my class get seventy, during Christmas, some girls would have cards placed under there bunkmate's bed, but I hardly got any. Diane was the first people to give me a Christmas card, I placed it under my bunkmate's bed and when Christmas was over, I placed it in my bag and I never threw it away.
Diane shocked everyone when she said she wanted to read Accounting, our teachers couldn't understand why, she was great at Mathematics, English, Physics, Chemistry, Biological, you name it, My physics teacher then said she was wasting her brain, that she would have been a good Doctor or Engineer, I knew Diane loved Accounting, It was her dream course, I encouraged her, she told me, she wasn't going to study in Nigeria and she wanted to study in America, It was her dream, I asked her if she would come back and she said of course ,what would she be doing in America.
I remember when Diane and I went to the sickbay to fetch hot water with our night wear, when it was a rule not to wear your night wear out of the hostel, we got caught and our Matron, seized everything we had one and we stayed in the sickbay naked until, someone brought clothes for us.
When we got to the end of secondary school, I had this lump in my throat, when we graduate that's it, no more late night chats until we sleep off, no more carrying Diane on my back to the sickbay when she falls sick, I won't get to hear her laugh at me when I tell her my stories, remembering how she would laugh at me when I told her my stories made me laugh at myself.
Even when we quarrelled and shouted at each other, Diane was always the first to talk to me like we never quarrelled, I learnt that from her, so if I quarrel with someone instead of waiting for an apology, I would just start talking to the person ,when am no longer angry.
Our last night in school, she told me not to cry, she said our parting should be joyful not sorrowful.
I remember our graduation, that was the last time I saw her, she  is presently in America studying her dream course, we still communicate and all, but I miss her physical presence. Her accent haven't changed unlike some people who would go to Dubai for a one week holiday and some back with an American accent .
I can't wait for her to return. I really don't know how to end this story, there is actually no end to this story. But I would add this,

In our life on earth, we meet people everyday and  we make friends. The truth is that some of us have no friends, some of us can count their friends, some of us can't count their friends, while some of us can count on only one friend, I think I prefer the latter. Its better to have one true diamond that would never lose its value than to have a million rhinestones that's cheap and has no value.

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Monday 6 April 2015 0 comments

SERIAL KILLERS ; PART ONE

ABUL DJABAR

Abul Djabar was a serial killer from Afghanistan. Not much is said about him, we don't know how his lures his victims, we don't know how he got all messed up in the head, but seriously Abul was messed up in the head.
He was said to have killed about 300 men and boys, but only 65 were proven.
Abul wasn't just a killer, He was a homosexual rapist, he would rape the men and then strangle them with his turban while he was still raping them ( seriously this guy was messed up in the head, am talking plenty loose knots).
He was caught and arrested while trying to rape and strangle another victim. October 21st, 1970 he was sentenced to death and he was executed by hanging (Good riddance).

Gary Leon Ridgway



Gary Leon Ridgway (born February 18, 1949) is the American serial killer known as the Green River Killer. He was initially convicted of 48 separate murders and later confessed about 71 murders. He murdered numerous women and girls in Washington State and California during the 1980s and 1990s.Most of his victims were alleged to be prostitutes. He was called the green river killer because of the bodies of his victims he dumped there. He strangled the women, usually by hand but sometimes using ligatures. After strangling them, he would dump their bodies throughout forested and overgrown area in King County, often returning to the dead bodies to have sexual intercourse with them (Beyond Sick) 

On November 30, 2001, as he was leaving the Kenworth truck factory where he worked in Renton, Washington, he was arrested for the murders of four women whose cases were linked to him through DNA evidence.As part of a plea bargain wherein he agreed to disclose the whereabouts of still-missing women, he was spared the death penalty and received a sentence of life imprisonment without parole.
His court statements later reported that he had killed so many, he lost count. A majority of the murders occurred between 1982 and 1984. The victims were believed to be either prostitutes or runaways picked up along Pacific Highway South, whom he strangled. Most of their bodies were dumped in wooded areas around the Green River, except for two confirmed and another two suspected victims found in the Portland, Oregon area. The bodies were often left in clusters, sometimes posed, usually nude. Because most of the bodies were not discovered until only the skeletons remained, three victims are still unidentified. Ridgway occasionally contaminated the dump sites with gum, cigarettes, and written materials belonging to others, and he even transported a few victims' remains across state lines into Oregon to confuse the police.

Ridgway began each murder by picking up a woman, usually a prostitute. He sometimes showed the woman a picture of his son, to help her trust him. After having sex with her, Ridgway strangled her from behind. He initially strangled them manually. However, many victims inflicted wounds and bruises on his arm while trying to defend themselves. Concerned these wounds and bruises would draw attention, Ridgway began using ligatures to strangle his victims. He killed most victims in his home, his truck, or a secluded area. 
He was caught November 30, 2001. He confessed to all murders and agreed to cooperate with the police and find the dead bodies so he won't be executed. He serves a life sentence till this day. 


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Saturday 4 April 2015 0 comments

DAYO AND SIMI : PART 1

Simi was walking down a lonely trail when she met Dayo, she had seen him once or twice in the area but she wasn't sure were he lived. He was very tall, she was a tall girl too but he made her look short, he wasn't really good looking but he was okay.
Then he says " Hi"
She says "hi"
"My name is Dayo ",
"My name is Simi "
" can I have your number so I can call you sometime ?"
Not wanting to give him her number, she tells him ,
"Give me yours and I would call you "
Dayo gives it to her,tells her goodbye and walks away.
Dayo patiently waited for her call, but she never called, Dayo's brother laughed at him for trusting a girl would call him first but Dayo was positive Simi would call him again.
Weeks passed and fate decided that they would meet again.
Simi had left the house with her three year old brother to buy something, she met Dayo on the way, he was happy to see her and approached her.
" you didn't called me again " said Dayo
"I didn't have credit to waste " said Simi rolling her eyes, and she walked away, leaving Dayo dumbfounded.
Unfortunately for Simi ,coming back, the rain started to pour and she had no umbrella, she wrapped her brother with her jacket and started to walk in the rain.
Up till today, Simi doesn't know if Dayo was watching her through the window or If God sent him, But he came out from his house holding an umbrella. He walks up to her and gives her the umbrella and says
" hi again, why are you walking under the rain?  Use the Umbrella "
Simi knew she had to accept,
" thank you she said " feeling guilty because of the way she spoke to him previously .
He says " you are welcome, should I walk you down "
" If you want to " said Simi
Dayo walks under the rain, while Simi uses his umbrella, he kept her company and talked to her like he had known her for years , he told her he likes her brother's hair cut and gives Simi's brother a Hi-five.
He walks with her some distance and she begs him to go home that she would bring back his umbrella when the rain stops and saying goodbye he left her.
Hours later, the rain had stopped and Simi in front of Dayo's house called Dayo, he came out to meet her , he was smiling at her, he had a beautiful smile and immaculate teeth.
He took the umbrella and just talked with her, He was really funny. Simi tried to apologise for her previous behaviour,but he waved it off, saying it was in the past, they talked for a while, there was a way he looked at her, she was not used to it , she couldn't understand it, but she loved the way he looked at her, she loved his eyes.
Simi told him she had to go and he said he would like to see her again and she said it was no problem.
Simi left him and walked home.
Dayo was heavily on her mind, she couldn't wait to see him again......
To be continued


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Thursday 2 April 2015 0 comments

HOW I LOST MY TOOTH

When I was a kid, I was a serious troublemaker, my mouth always got me in trouble and I didn't know how to fight, the primary school I went to was a government school and in that school there were kids from parents who were wheelbarrow pushers to Teachers and Lecturers. Teacher's kids were the posh ones, they were usually favourites and were placed above everyone else ( I disliked a lot of them). But that's by the way side, today my story is centred on when I how my mouth earned me some blows.

I was a troublesome and somehow naughty child (explains why I was flogged a lot) , My seatmates name was Harrison, he was kind of Fat, no, Harrison was fat (saw him some years ago, the guy has hips and a huge ass, back then In secondary school we called him hips don't lie) .
But that day I was Godswill's seatmate, he did something so they made him seat with me, something caused an argument between us, I didn't like him and I didn't want him on my seat, we started quarrelling and I called him "crayfish eyes" and before I knew it a blow landed on my face, everywhere became dark and in like 3 seconds it started to clear up, I started crying , My friends sitting in the seat before mine heard me crying, they turned and they screamed when they saw my face.
My then yellow blouse with a green pinafore uniform, was covered with blood , spit and tears. Godswill had knocked my tooth out, I was initially crying because Godswill hit me, but finding out I was bleeding, I cried the more, and Godswill tried to run ,but he was caught and punished, I never found the tooth he knocked out.


There was another time in Primary 4 when I called a boy (can't remember his name either Ehis or Eromosele) "beans head "( his head was actually shaped like a bean) .The boy's eyes turned red, the next thing I knew was that I was used as a human bowling ball against the fragile benches and tables we had in our class, the boy took off because my classmates started shouting , I was in pains but I ran after him, still raining insults, then he stopped running, held me against a wall and hit my belly, I thought I would die seriously, the blow to my belly almost made me vomit, I just held my abdomen and froze in that position, at first I couldn't cry, after some seconds I started crying hard, when I regained myself, I wanted to go and fight him or report him but then the boy was long gone, I stopped looking for trouble for a while, that punch to my abdomen was really painful, didn't want another one and I never saw that boy again don't know where he went or If he just avoided me completely ,but every night I would plan the insults I would give him when I see him and then doze off with a smile on my face on how angry he would look and if he hit me, I would immediately report him and he would be flogged and he would cry the same way I cried.


Did you ever fight when you were in primary school and you want to share the story, send your stories to Ifuekojemmy@yahoo.com or Ifueko143@live.com,  and I will love to share it.
Good bye and see you next post.

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Wednesday 1 April 2015 0 comments

WHAT WAS IN THE DARK ??

On this fateful night at 1:00 am, I was fully awake, watching TV, I was about 12 years old then, I was watching cartoons, I think the cartoon was Go Go GadgetMan ( am not sure, but that doesn't matter). After sometime, PHCN took the light, I didn't have a phone then so, I had no source of light.
Usually, I am not scared of the Dark ( My sister was and I teased her a lot about) , the sitting room was pitch black, I had to carefully meander my way through.
Then all of a sudden I felt there was someone there.
You know sometimes you can feel the presence of someone even if you haven't seen the person, I felt a presence and then I saw a shadow moving towards me it was moving effortlessly and it seemed to float, It was the shadow of someone a bit tall and wide, apart from that I saw nothing, I stopped were I was and said
"Who is there? "
I saw the shadow shrink, as in seriously , am not kidding, It shrank to a cat, I heard "Meow" something ran past me, our door was made of glass and the lowest part of the door was broken, I heard scratching on the carpet,  like something with claws was running on the carpet and the cat ran through the door and out, It all happened in a split second, I never knew cats would run very fast, I wasn't even sure, what I saw was a cat. I ran with speed through the darkness to my room, I was panting heavily and I was so scared, I started praying.

There were cats normally in the bush nearby, but the cats never came close to my house, so I was really puzzled.

It really happened, this wasn't my imagination , every part of this story is true. I don't know what the creature was, even  till now I question what I saw, I know my mind wasn't playing tricks on me, I saw it, I don't know if it's a spirit, Demon or witch.
Well whatever it was I never encountered it again, I seriously hoped my prayers sent it packing, because who knows what that thing was and what it was doing in the house, and what it would have done to me.
Have you had a similar experience and you want to share, send your stories to Ifuekojemmy@yahoo.com or Ifueko143@live.com. Thanks for reading,
Good bye and see you next post

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3 comments

INTRODUCTION INTRODUCTION

Hey, My name is Ifueko Jemima Uhunmwangho, A medical student from University of Benin and I tell stories, fictional, horror, romance, biographies, paranormal, suspense, intrigue,real life stories, you name it, I tell them all, Do you love stories, then this is the site for you, do you want to tell your stories, Ifuekojemmy@yahoo.com is my Yahoomail and Ifueko143@live.com is My Gmail, you can send your stories to either one of them,
Enough ramblings, Let's get to the stories.....

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