DÉSIRÉE

It was a really hot afternoon, I was tired and seriously cranky, It had been a really long day for me, I had only one thing on my mind, a very long night's rest. When I got to the room, my room mate as usual had messed the whole place up, his clothes were on the floor and bed, his books were littered everywhere and the plates he used in eating were on the bed we shared. Annoyed, I started to pick up his clothes threw it in his wardrobe, gathered his books into a neat heap, taking a broom I slept the room and washed the dishes, I was tired but there was nothing I detested more than a dirty room.

Finally I laid on my bed to sleep. A few minutes later I heard a knock on my door, I almost grumbled out loud, "Who is it " I asked
"It's Mene"  immediately the sleep wiped from my eyes. Mene was my closest female friend. She was naturally beautiful, her complexion that reminded me of caramel. She was tall and finely sculpt, with long legs and a waist to die for,  aside her physical attributes, she was a lovely person, she was kind, caring and jovial, she was perfect. I had been in love with her for years, but my chicken heart won't allow me tell her.
I opened the door and she flashed me one of her killing smiles, I felt blood rush to my face and sweat moisten my palms.
" Babu how far now " She said as she walked past me, she was wearing a black bandage dress that flattered her beautiful body, It took a miracle for her not to catch me staring at her perfectly shaped derriere , the floral scent of her perfume filled my room. I closed the door and asked her if she needed anything, she rolled her eyes and said " Shoooh can I visit my Babu again " I laughed and asked if she wanted anything to drink, she said no and beckoned me to sit by her.
I sat beside her and we talked about school and other things.Then she looked me in the eye and asked very bluntly 
" Babu when  you said you haven't done anything sexual before did you mean it ?"
I was shocked by the question, why was she asking, I had told her once that I was still a virgin but she acted like she didn't hear me, so I wondered why she asked now, I didn't know if I should say the truth or lie instead, I threw a question back
" Why are you asking " I said giving her a scornful look. She smiled and didn't say anything, she stood up and walked to the door, I was confused, I wondered if I had offended her in anyway. I quickly stood up and walked to her, I held the door and asked if she wanted to leave so soon, she was still smiling
" No, I wanted to lock the door "
I was even more confused! Why?
She didn't talk, she just came closer and kissed me. The feeling sent electric sparks through my entire body, I had never been kissed or kissed someone before, she held my face and deepened the kiss,she was quite taller than me, so I had to stretch to the tip of my toes,I didn't know if I was kissing right I didn't care at the moment the sensations coursing through my body were alien but yet it felt so good.
I was too scared to touch her, I feared she would be angry that she gave me leg and I now want to wear leggings. She stopped kissing me, I almost protested but I tried to play it cool, she took a step from me, reached for the zip in front of her dress and slowly she dragged it down, apart from a bra she wore nothing else under her dress. It was the first time I had ever seen real breasts. I was transfixed to the spot, I could feel blood running to my groin, I tried to control it but I couldn't, I stood in front of Mene, confused, shivering and erect. She laughed, it was the kind of laughter when she had successfully teased me, I still couldn't move. She held my hands and told me to  look into her eyes. I nearly exploded when she touched my face, tracing her fingers on my chubby, oily face. Her fingers leaving sparks of pleasure everywhere it touched.
" Are you scared " I heard her say, I tried to talk but it felt like I was suddenly tongue-tied. Her fingers were on my neck now doing things to me that I couldn't explain, so this is how it felt when the one you loved touched you. I wanted to touch her but I still felt frozen to the spot.
" are you scared, don't be scared touch me " her fingers were still tracing invisible sensation lines on my skin, I could feel the hair on my skin stand . She took my hands and then put it on one of her breasts, I have never felt anything so soft before
" Touch it Babu don't be scared "
My heart was pounding like mad but courage came from nowhere and I placed my shaking hand around her left breast
"That's it Babu keep going do it harder " From one breast I moved to the other holding it and caressing  gently at first then I picked up the pace. It felt like soft  at first then it started to feel really hard and muscular and It felt like it was shrinking and more bony,  but I kept squeezing and playing with it.
I don't know how it happened but the next thing I felt was a hot slap on my face, everywhere became dark for a few seconds and It took a while to clear up, It felt like I had gone blind.
" Mene why did you slap me " I said as my vision cleared but the face of the person in front of me was not Mene but my room mate Obi , someone switched on the light and Obi's angry face was evident .
" you dey mad nii, I dey sleep je je for my own you open my ynash dey press am, you don turn gay?? "

It then dawned on me that I was having the most realistic wet dream ever. I took me a week to convince my room mate that I wasn't trying to burst his ynash.

MY PERFECT JEANS

MY PERFECT JEANS

I once had a pair of perfect jeans
It was blue and bright with pretty seams

It fit so well and had a golden zip
When I wore it compliments flowed from different lips

I really loved my perfect jeans
After every use I folded it into a neat heap

My Jeans covered my legs in the cold
During the heat it gave the perfect hold

Cut this jeans said some dear
It would be nice rugged just a little tear

So tore it I did with a pair of sharp scissors
But my elders said I looked unserious

Cut it a little for three quater is in vogue
I cut it to my knees and I looked like a rogue

Cut it a bit short just close to your bum
I cut it so and to bad company i almost bumped

So I gathered the pieces and started to sew
Time went by and my anticipation grew

After hard work and a long night's toil
I patched all the cuts but it was all a foil

My perfect Jeans were no more fair
All that was left was an attempt at repair

SUICIDE WHISPERS 2

He looks at me with teary eyes
His voice is softer and weaker
Please don't leave me he begs
I know I don't deserve you
But I won't stop working
Till I am worthy of you
I believe and love him so I stay

She looks at me with angry eyes
Her voice is calm but laced with fire
Her finger is pointing and accusing
Do you still see that boy she says
I try to say no with my mouth
But my eyes betrays me and says yes
She looks at me like dirt and says
I have warned you to stay away
That boy will lead you to your grave.

So now I am torn into two side
Two demons constantly battle in me
Love is patient, kind and forgives
I chose to forgive but i am not happy
Is it a crime to love someone

She tells me to go and he says stay
My head hurts and my heart bleeds
If I leave the pain will be too great
If I stay and I have no peace
I have cried till my eye dried up
She says i should leave like its easy

I can't bare the pain anymore
Maybe death will end this fight
Yes when I die they will let me be
But I will haunt them from my grave
I will show they the pain they caused me
I will pull sleep from their eyes
The way they pulled mine
I will make them cry
The way they made me cry
All I do is love but yet they make me hate
I want to have peace is that so hard
I think its better I leave this world
Its better I die and rest in peace.

SUICIDE WHISPERS

Suicide whispers

I can feel it in my very being
I can feel the pain seeping in

I thought i have fought it off
I thought I was very tough

But it is back with full force
Threathening to throw me off course

I wake everyday with the sun
And lay at night with a burn

I need help loudly I cry
I need it fast before I die

The tears keeps falling from my eyes
I feel my whole world turning cold as ice

I feel myself slipping from humanity
I need to end this grave insanity

A wicked voice whispers in my ear
Take your life dear have no fear

For I bet you the pain will be severe
Take up a knife and at your wrist sever

© KOKO JEMIMA

BOOK REVIEW : THE FISHERMAN

Hey guys I just finished another book " The fisherman" by Chigozie Obioma.
Its a very tragic tale about a family and the events that tore them apart.
The first four children all boys were how brothers are supposed to be , friends,  Ikenna , Boja,  Obembe and Ben.  They were each others bestfriends,  they ate together,  shared the same hobbies and looked out for each other.
Ikenna was the oldest brother and he was their leader always strong,  always sacrificing always there for his brothers and they in turn loved and adored him.

Circumstances lead them to become fishermen and there they met " Abulu " a prophesying mad man who was said to have raped his own mother and killed his brother.
Despite warnings not to listen to Abulu,  Ikenna listened to the mad man and he prophesied that Ikenna will be killed by a fisherman ie by one of his brothers.

Ikenna changed towards his brothers out of fear, he lost his heart, his courage and his relationships . His brother tried to bring him back but the Ikenna they knew was already gone.  He had planted a seed of fear and paranoia nutured it until it grew in a tree and bore many fruits.

At the end Abulu's prophecy takes its toll on the family with Boja being the most unfortunate victim,  what actually killed Ikenna was FEAR.  Ikenna was always strong and resilient but the time when his brothers needed him to be strong the most he let them down.
Fear can impair one in so many ways,  it does nothing but bring on pain, regret and agony , it leaves us with "what if" questions that would never be answered.

PUNU

Ok,  I wrote a poem and I tried to rhyme don't laugh at me joor.

Punu was the name of my pup
I watched him grow to a beautiful dog

It followed me everywhere I would go
Its brown face always with a glow

Punu would always lick my face
He would walk behind me with a steady pace

I love my dearest dog punu
He was always with me from night to noon

One day my dearest punu had rabies
He was really sick and going crazy

We have to kill punu my child
Said my mom he is now too wild

I wont let another kill my dog
I decided to do it myself in the bog

My hands shook as i held the gun
It felt like he knew what was wrong

With tears in my eyes I killed my friend
His eyes showed me love till the end

Comment below

SICK........ Part 1

I had a problem, a ginormous problem which threatened to consume me. It was like an inoperable carcinoma , highly metastatic  , spreading rapidly through me and invading my entire being.
I used to fear that there was no cure for my condition, I didnt even meet doctors to tell them about my condition , I was scared they could have no cure for my illness but let me say the truth, I wasn't sure I wanted to be cured.
My illness started when I was thirteen years old, It was the long holiday, my mother had travelled to Dubai to do some shopping and my Dad as usual was travelling from state to state as regards his job as a journalist,my three other siblings where always in school. I was usually home with my Aunt Debby and recently a distant relative Ojomo came to join us. Ojomo recently started a polytechnic not far from where we lived so he stayed with us.
Ojomo and I hardly spoke, he wasn't my mate Aunt Debby made it clear and I was to maintain my lane according to her.
One day I had come back from summer school early and Aunt Debby wasn't around, I went into Ojomon's room to ask where she was and there I saw him, his eyes were closed his mouth opened in pleasure, a girl was in between his legs, his third leg was in her mouth , they didn't even notice I was there, Ojomo looked like he was going into convulsions.
I ran to my room and I was confused, what where they doing!! , why was Ojomo shouting so loudly, I was determined to find out.
When everyone was asleep I crept into the living room and took the house laptop into my room. I was only meant to use it for school activities but I was curious , my brother had taught me how to browse with Google so I typed " Mouth on Penis " different porn sites came up and I kept browsing through and through a hunger developed all of a sudden, I wanted to know how it felt like, I wanted to know how it tasted.
I won't dare try it with Ojomo, he may refuse and report me to my parents.  I decided to meet Tope, he was the most spoilt person in secondary school , times without number he was caught under the staircase romancing a girl . We were told to avoid him.
I wrote him a letter telling him to meet me behind an uncompleted building in school , I thought he wouldn't come but he did, I told him what I wanted he was shocked but obliged, Tope was a grown man down there and at first I was scared but I went for it, he was all moans and groans and that excited me, when it was over I asked him if he would come again the same time tomorrow and he was delighted.
After some meetings with Tope, he wanted to take it to the next level but I refused and I never schedule meetings with him again, he begged a lot but I was already bored of him , I was itching for another taste.
The head body was my next object of attraction, he had this swag that made girls swoon, he was neat, intelligent and cute, I started to plan how I would get to taste him, I planned for months I could barely sleep I was literally hungry for him.
During a holiday I got my chance, I went to his home to visit him in guise of borrowing his novels,he was three years my senior so he didn't mind, he liked the fact I wanted to read. One day I came to return some comics I borrowed and he was the only one home , I told him I had a surprise for him and asked him to close his eyes, he looked at me suspiciously but obliged, I went down on my knees fast and thankfully he wasn't wearing a belt, I pulled it out and put my mouth, he was shocked and tried to pull away but I was sucking like I had no choice and he caved in, I liked his taste, we continued for weeks until I got bored and tired of his taste.
At fifteen, I started going for parties organised my seniors, they all knew my gist, In a class of fifty boys I had tasted about thirty and even a young teacher I had a crush on. It became my obsession, I hunger for it , no man ever said no when I begged to taste them they enjoyed it, I could tell, they wanted more of me but I didn't want to do more than taste them, they pressured and pressured but I had made up my mind.

Fast forward to my university days, my days of shame . My obsession grew even more,  I would go to night class not to read but to taste guys I liked at first glance, I had no attachment to none of the guys I taste I didn't want any attachments, I would get bored and I wanted to enjoy different tastes of men.
I tasted my lecturers, the porters in my hostel, numerous guys in night class. I would be in different corners tasting away, sometimes I would ask them to bring friends and one after the other I would taste them all.

One day I met a man, a priest to be exact, Father Atohengbe,  I wasn't catholic or anything I barely even went to church, I knew if I go and I find the Minister attractive I would want to taste him so I avoided church.
The Reverend Father was my room mate's  brother and he was gorgeous, why he decided to go into the priesthood confused me, he had the face of a movie star and the voice of an angel . My roomie Omo would always sing his praise.  She would share reflections he wrote and all that, she would be listening to audios of him singing and soon my hunger started to build. Omo shared her brother's number with me, she told me he was great at counselling youths and he was the most understanding and truthful person she knew . She didn't know the trouble she was getting me into I didn't blame her.
I started talking to Father Ato and She was right, he understood youths so perfectly, his reflections where so deep and truthfully, it wasn't hard to fall in love with him. I HAD TO TASTE HIM even though he is a consecrated priest.

We became good friends and I couldn't bear my hunger, it was suffocating me, I couldn't taste anyone else I wanted Father Ato and him alone. I started cutting my skin but I felt no pain, the hunger to taste him was all I could feel.
I hatched a foolproof plan and It was sure to work. Father Ato lived in a parish house in a village quite distant from where I lived, I travelled to the village waited for hours at the bus stop and when late at night I went to the parish house.
My heart was in my mouth as I banged at the gate,  Father Ato walked out looking sleepy and confused, he looked so beautiful I was just staring dreamily. The first guy I fell in love with and he just had to be a priest, I was sick indeed.
He was confused asking me why I was here, I started crying telling him am on the run, a lesbian cult was after me and I didn't know where else to run, He was shocked but let me in and he served me some food and started making a lot of calls , from what I could hear he wanted to transfer me to a convent, I had to act fast and quick. I started crying profusely and Father Ato had to end his call and attend to me. He was moved by my tears and he tried to console me, I immediately went into his embrace soaking his shirt with my crocodile tears , I tried to deepen the embrace but he politely detached from me and said we should pray, I was red hot, I didn't want to pray I wanted to taste him and he was playing saint, I went crazy and attacked him, I went for his belt and tried to take of his trousers. A slap from him brought my senses back everywhere was dark for a few seconds and when the darkness cleared, I could see Father Ato face contorted with anger. His angelic voice turned to thunder as his bombarded me with questions of who sent me to him, He start praying rebuking me and thanking God for saving him. I sat down on the floor in shame and I started crying these were genuine tears I knew I was in trouble, I started to beg Father Ato, I told him no one had sent me but he told me to keep quiet or he would throw me out .
He walked out and went into a room in the house and locked the door. An hour later a car drove into the compound, Father Ato opened the door and welcomed the new guests, They were reverend Sisters, he spoke to them and they asked me to follow them. The ride was a quiet and uncomfortable one, when we got to the convent they showed me a room to sleep but I couldn't sleep. I had made a big mess of myself and I had no idea how to fix it.

In the early hours of the morning, a Nun came and asked me if I wanted to join them to pray, I didn't want to pray I was beyond redemption .

Hours later the head nun came to talk to me, she was a slender and elderly  woman beautiful in every way. She was so kind and nice to me, I didn't know when I told her everything , my weird habits, how it started and my obsession with Father Ato, she listened with out interrupting and asked me a simple question " DID YOU TAKE IT TO THE LORD IN PRAYER??!!. I burst into tears, I never prayed to God when it started, In fact I pushed him away years ago. She didn't judge me, we prayed for a while, read some scriptures and after four days with the Nuns, I went back to school.

I sent a text to Father Ato apologising for my behaviour, he called me almost immediately , he said all is forgiven and I shouldn't go back to the way I used to be. I promised I won't go back.